Yay Christmas! What happens when you tell everyone that they need to shut up all year long, so that you can concentrate on writing? Do they shut up? No, of course not. But, if they are the coolest people ever, they get you the BOSE Quiet Comfort 25 Acoustic Noise Cancelling headphones for Christmas.
And it’s not just because you’ve nearly accidently knocked a box of them over in front of every single family member every time you go to Best Buy, or, for that matter, because you have torn out the page and circled them in every single issue of the Fingerhut, Best Buy, or Sears Catalog that comes to the house all year long. And it’s also not because you have bought about 20 cheap earphone sets and used each one of them for one week and, in front of the entire family, thrown them against the wall in a fit of anger and yelled, “God almighty what does someone have to do around here to get some good quality BOSE Quiet Comfort 25 Acoustic Noise Cancelling headphones! Dammit to hell!”.
Nope. It’s none of that. The reason they get them for you is because they love you, and, mostly, because they will just never ever shut up. Ever. It’s just not in their DNA. Speaking of DNA, I need to send away for one of those kits because I am quite confident I am not related to any of these people.
I never used to be sensitive to noise. When I worked as a detention officer I used to write reports in the same area where a dozen inmates were screaming and tossing feces at each other (the crazy tank). As a cop I used to write my police reports in my police car while the guy in my back seat was screaming that he didn’t do it at the top of his lungs or just trying to kick the windows out of the car. Did not bother me one bit. But of course that was years ago. And I was never deaf either like most kids today are. And they are deaf because of years of abuse from those damn BEATS by DRE. Stupid kids. I mean seriously, the guy is a rapper. You know they are deaf.
But, of course, none of that really matters any more. I have my super duper noise canceling headphones and I can’t hear any of these people walking by me. Which also means I have no excuse. I have to write something awesome now. And I will. I just wish I had a good cup of coffee. It’s hard getting a good cup of coffee at home. I mean God almighty people! What does a guy have to do around here to get a damn Keurig Hot 2.0 K575 Plus Brewing System in Platinum! Dammit to hell!