I'm gonna slash his tires one day. I am so not kidding, maybe. I think, because I was a cop, I am especially sensitive to people being stupid with their cars. Parking in handicap spaces when you aren't supposed to, intentionally making your car louder than it should be, and simply not knowing how to... Continue Reading →
They give yoga pants a bad name
Ladies, I have a question. When did the world run out of pants for women? I mean they still have some right? You know, the kind with buttons, zippers, and pockets? Or were they outlawed and I missed the memo? I don't hate yoga pants. I really don't. I won't let my daughter wear them... Continue Reading →
It’s the little things
A couple of days ago I was leaving the house to go write at a coffee shop. Wait. That's a lie. Sort of. Okay, not really a lie. Well, I mean I was leaving the house. I was going to go write at a coffee shop. But I was not leaving the house because I... Continue Reading →
The Randomness of Me
We all have random thoughts. Things we think about without knowing what the hell could have triggered them. Most of them are just normal day-to-day stuff. Things we think about every day about things we encounter every day. I am not sure that there is anything day-to-day about me anymore. I'm sure there used to... Continue Reading →
Top 10 spam emails I keep getting after turning 50
It's tough getting old. It really is. Especially these days, when in the age of technology, there are vast computers out there counting the days for you without you even knowing. They know how old you are, and they are keeping track of what stage you are in your life so they can sell you... Continue Reading →
Detective Alvarez and the Olympians
The Olympics today reminded me of this post I wrote when I saw the last Olympics. Which weren't winter Olympics. I don't watch winter Olympics because everyone knows that's just about a thousand different ways to slide on ice. Which is just weird if you really think about it. I was watching the Olympics today... Continue Reading →
Top 10 things I tell my dog
Since getting a dog I have noticed I talk to him a lot. We don't actually have conversations. He doesn't talk back, of course, but I talk to him anyway. I guess I talk to him because dogs, unlike cats and teenagers, actually listen. They always seem very interested in what you have to say.... Continue Reading →
Scars
“Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory...lasts forever”- Keanu Reeves in The Replacements. I have always had soft hands, I think. I’m not sure because I never noticed until I joined law enforcement. It never really mattered until then. There is this stupid unwritten rule in law enforcement that you have to shake hands with every... Continue Reading →